I sound like A.I. :(

I am frustrated as I write this because no matter how well I word and rework my applications and emails for new opportunities, it reads unappetizing. It feels like I have come full circle with my communication skills and now I am struggling with it. I worry if it is too verbose or too bland, if it sounds like A.I. or if it sounds human, and most importantly if it sounds like me. Writing, both creative and technical, was once on of those things I never thought twice about. I am a polyglot, so in all senses of the term, I have a pretty solid grasp of words. My vocabulary cultivated upon reading dictionaries and thesauruses for fun while giggling silently at the naughty words my immigrant parents couldn’t fathom. During halcyon days of yore, I even prolifically authored lauded fanfics under cringey pseudonyms, submitting them towards my annual NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) quota. [Side note: My youth was full of creative shenanigans that I hid from family, perhaps a story for another time.] This skilled up to moonlighting as a ghostwriter for random blogs until the advent of ChatGPT. I enjoyed using fancy words and breaking the rules the same way a painter swirls with a flourish.

As I advanced in my career, I reined back the loquaciousness of my writing. I quickly learned that people don’t like it when you throw complex and “above pay-grade” terms around casually, it’s like telling inside jokes that the reader is not intelligent enough to understand, and rubbing that ignorance in their face makes them upset. The result of this is writing that is casual, friendly, albeit banal - with syntax and structure that follows the predictable speech and patterns of college freshman essays. Now I hardly recognize what I started with. It looks good, passes all the automated requirements. Without using A.I., I already sound like it. It makes me so upset because that is not the overachieving, nerdy weirdo I cultivated even in the most mundane of circumstances.

Now my writing fits the average standard because we have standardized the average.

Locked down but not locked in - Reflecting on 2020-2022

Living through lockdown and coming out the other end relatively mentally okay is a bigger blessing than one would think. To be in the position of digital needs fulfillment person when all of the brick and mortar avenues needed to digitize to survive meant there was a lot of work coming my way and it didn’t just keep me occupied, it sustained and nourished me, pushing me to embrace the chaos and the creativity it demanded.

It was an opportunity to expand and connect from one coast to another and have an impact internationally, all from the comfort of my home. To meet and get to know entire communities from all walks of life. To commiserate on our shared humanity and mortality all while sending that connection request on LinkedIn.

In the first year, I was still an independent contractor; Creative Consultant and designer for hire. As any other designer, I juggled projects and sub contractors. The second year, my biggest client got jealous of my divided attention and took me off market - hiring me as Creative Director. Since then I have been working exclusively for one organization, directing much more than creative.

Color Trends & Social Psychology

Lilac scarf from Aurum 21 Collection

Most trends are residual, as in, they have been around a few years and are still going strong. Take for example, Millenial Pink. It started showing up online in 2015-ish when Tumblr became a mainstream reference on the news and in the media. Since then it took over fashion, weddings, interior design, cosmetics, graphic design, advertising, etc. Nearly everything you can see or buy, until our lives reached maximum saturation in 2018 and then we decided to shut it down this year, replacing it with Lilac (Millenial Purple). The pink peaked in 2016, but stuck around nearly 5 years. Millenial Pink and purple are color trends, yes; but on a deeper level they reflect the cultural psyche. The amalgamation of our generation's mood in response to everything gong on around us. Maybe this Lilac should be called "Gen-Z purple" instead.

Why?

Let's focus strictly on the American zeitgeist for analysis in order to answer this question.

Ever heard of the term "Rose Tinted Glasses"? That's what Millenial Pink represents culturally. The years that it developed in forums and online, those were the Obama years. And our generation, as liberal and idealistic as we are, felt safe to engage and cultivate our deepest selves. This nudy pink is our insides coming out; the soft, hidden, safe space that houses who we are. It's the color of sensuality, and nature, and bubblegum. It's the universally flattering color, as it ushered in its wake all the hues of humanity, becoming accessible to all. To have, to hold, to wear, and to extol. A warm, happy color of youth, and perhaps as well a youthful bliss. It peaked in 2016, when it was also slated as Pantone's Color of the Year, along with a soft breezy periwinkle blue. Side note, I did not see this periwinkle blue anywhere in 2016 and only began seeing it more in 2018, I think Pantone was just pushing it on us to seem a little more original because they like to seem more original. Back to the main topic, 2016 was also the year Trump was elected. Between 2016 and now, maybe you have noticed an oversaturation of millenial pink everywhere and are sick of seeing it. There's a reason for that. With the social and political upheaval that is the mess that is the US Government, people are holding on to the their happy color even more. Putting it everywhere and creating a sense of safety, away from the darkness outside and the things that they can't control, this color is their escape. But one can only escape from reality so long. Seeing what our society is going through, the heightened mindless violence, hate filled vitriol, the insanity that festered in forums to finally spill into real life with the worst consequences imaginable....it is incredibly hard to bear for people of any conscience. It takes a toll on our bodies and on our minds. There's a reason that heart attacks among young people (under 40) are increasing every year. Studies show that 1 out of every 5 patients admitted for a heart attack is under 40, as of 2016. Heart attacks, Aneurysms, caffeine overdoses, these are some of our everyday things.

At some point, people will start to disconnect and try different ways of numbing themselves to the things they can't control. That's the psychology of trauma. And these last few years have indeed been a broader social trauma. When you no longer want to connect or feel things, you're going to cool it off. Ice it.

As always, these are how I see things.

Holistic Design

As an artist, my priority is to create a beautiful work, but as a designer, my priority is to use that same passion and dedication for someone else’s vision. And I can’t do that without first understanding what my client needs, oftentimes my clients are small business owners or non-profit organizations who don’t have the time to research trends, create a mood board, and essentially come up with an idea of what they want. My goal is to help them get there, because once they know what they want, I know what they want, and I can start creating.

I see this process learning process between my client and myself as holistic design. I don’t want to give you a corporate logo or trendy logo and make you stick with it if it doesn’t reflect your brand’s spirit. All this serves to do is create something that the client will end up hating as soon as the season’s trends are over. How is it any different than fast fashion? Logos should last and grow with your company, not stagnate and become obsolete like VHS tapes as soon as the next big trend comes around.